Domestic Animals
by Joon
Summary: Torchwood gets a new pet. Fluff.


"That's it

"That's it?" Owen asked, looking disappointed.

"What do you mean 'that's it'?" Tosh said a bit defensively.

"Well, it's…kind of small," Owen commented, eyeing the filled water pitcher Gwen still clutched in her hands.

"Owen," tsked Jack. "Hasn't anyone told you yet that size doesn't matter?"

"Yeah, yeah, bloody ha ha, Harkness," Owen shot back. "You said alien monster. You insinuated huge teeth and claws and the like," he accused.

"It's got teeth and claws," Jack insisted.

"The size of salt grains, _maybe_," Owen replied. "Tosh, I thought the scanners said at least 8 feet?"

"Am I the only one who's glad it's small enough to fit in a milk pitcher and not in need of a whale tank?" Ianto inquired.

"I think it's adorable," Gwen cooed.

In response, the creature in the pitcher gave a raspy squawk and paddled a little more ferociously around the perimeter of the pitcher, eliciting another delighted smile from the Welshwoman.

By its shape, the alien looked like a typical depiction of the Loch Ness monster. Only significantly smaller.

"A mini-Nessie," Tosh named, smiling. "It's very cute." She reached out a hand to pat the small head when Jack grabbed her wrist.

"I wouldn't," he advised. "It might be the size of a tennis ball, but it's just gotten a Rift Ride and isn't sure where it is. It'll be defensive and probably try and do damage."

As if to back him up, the creature snapped its tiny jaws in the direction of Tosh's fingers.

"Aw, bless," Owen mocked. "It's trying to nibble you to death."

Ignoring him, Gwen set the pitcher on the coffee table by the Hub's main couch. The movement sent the water sloshing back and forth, tossing the small alien around a little. It squeaked indignantly as it got knocked against the pitcher's sides.

"It's probably hungry," guessed Jack.

They all gave Ianto an expectant glance.

Ianto sighed. "What does a miniature Loch Ness Monster eat?"

* * *

An hour later, the team minus Jack was still gathered around Vaughn, as the creature had been christened. Each held a pair of chopsticks in their hand and took turns offering bits of tuna from a can that Ianto had located.

"Look at him go!" Gwen marveled as Vaughn shot across the length of the fish tank he was now occupying to gracefully snatch her offering from the chopsticks. She tried to give him a friendly nudge with the chopstick, but he speedily ducked away, braying thinly at her.

"He's strangely rather strong," said Ianto, whose one chopstick was currently in between Vaughn's teeth. Despite his entire mouth being taken up by the utensil, the creature valiantly tried to wrestle the stick out from Ianto's fingers.

"He's got a killer instinct is what," Owen observed. "There's an idea," he said, brightly. "Why don't we put some goldfish in the tank and see if Vaughn'll hunt them? I bet he'll tear them to shreds."

"Must you be so violent?" Tosh demanded.

"It's survival of the fittest, Tosh," stated Owen, haughtily. "Don't slag off on Darwinism."

Vaughn squeaked nasally in triumph when Ianto finally let go of his one chopstick. "Actually," the Welshman speculated as he watched Vaughn chew enthusiastically at the floating bit of wood. "He could probably do with something to play with. Like-"

"A goldfish!" Owen finished. "Or even a turtle. Those small ones. It'll be a live action aquatic battle!"

"People," called Jack from his office. "We're still running a defense operation here, not a pet store. Back to work."

* * *

Vaughn's tank soon filled with small little bath toys, mostly provided by Gwen. At first the alien seemed to treat each new addition like an intruder, no matter what shape or color it was. The small air ball Toshiko had given him was quickly deflated with one bite. The rubber ducky had some chunks taken off around its sides. But soon with a little bit of encouragement via food, Vaughn was slowly becoming domesticated, even submitting to performing a few tricks with a mini flotation ring. Usually he just wore it around his long neck like a collar.

In the span of a fortnight, he became Torchwood's darling.

It led to an increase in pet food budget as everyone seemed set on spoiling him with sushi. And there'd been a subtle increase in chocolate bars for Myfanwy who wasn't best pleased at being ousted as the Torchwood favorite pet. At least, this was what Ianto guessed from the way the pterodactyl tended to eye Vaughn's tank sometimes. When it had basically been between her and Janet, it hadn't been too much of a contest.

"Poor Myfanwy," Jack chuckled as she sullenly gnawed at the generous slabs of dark chocolate Ianto tossed at her to keep her from flying through the open perch and potentially eating Vaughn straight out of his tank. "You're still my favorite."

Myfanwy rustled her wings, focusing her beady eyes on Jack. He could swear she was trying purposefully to look pathetic.

"Any more of this and Owen's going to get his Darwinism Show between these two," said Ianto as he broke a bar of chocolate in half and threw one slice to the pterodactyl.

"There's gotta be a way to train her to not be jealous, right?" Jack speculated, optimistically.

"I'll start a search on a Dinosaur Whisperer as soon as I'm done with the feeding," Ianto drolled, giving up the last slice.

Myfanwy noisily ate it, snuffling angrily when she heard Owen's voice from below chanting Vaughn's name.

"Come on, then, Vaughn. Attack the turtle! Attack! Kill!"

Now properly domesticated, Vaughn only swam around the turtle, disinterested.

"Attack!" Owen ordered.

"Owen, stop giving Vaughn ideas," Jack called from Myfanwy's perch.

Looking up, Owen scowled. "At least I'm not planning on teaching the pterodactyl how to give us rides once Tea Boy gets around to ordering the harness."

Ianto swore under his breath and busied himself with scratching Myfanwy's beak.

"Oh, yeah!" exclaimed Jack, being reminded of the idea. "Whatever happened with that order? You said it'd be here last week."

"Owen, stop giving Jack ideas," Ianto shouted.

THE END


End file.
